Okay so I’m going to tell you a story, one that in that moment I remember being in tears – mortified and well, honestly clueless but now I look back and can’t help but laugh. I was a brand new Mom, Blake was like maybe a month old, but I think less. I was doing my first “big outing” with her (AKA: running like 3 errands in one day), which as a new Mom you know is a big deal. It’s so intimidating not really knowing what in the actual heck you’re doing and then braving the world while in the middle of it all. I remember packing the diaper bag to the brim. I had like 5 changes of clothes , the freaking nose frida, burp cloths, Triple Paste diaper rash cream, all the things. So I thought.
Welp, I made it through my first errand. I went to the grocery store successfully, she slept the entire time, I got everything on my list and I felt like the freaking QUEEN OF THE TOWN. Seriously though. So, time for stop number two, Target – Target is life, okay people, literally life – you can’t go wrong at Target. Welp, WRONG. You can go wrong at Target, like very wrong. I went to grab her out of her seat and there was poop E-V-E-R-Y-WHERE (#blowouts). And you know newborn poop, it’s not pretty and it’s messy. Her car seat was covered, her clothes were covered and immediately my stomach dropped. But guys, I had this. I prepared for this – I packed my diaper bag full of all the changes of clothes, everything. I went to grab it and oh… joke was on me. It wasn’t in the back seat, it wasn’t in the front seat, IT WASN’T ANYWHERE. Somehow my wallet managed to make it with me, but the bag didn’t. So I said, okay, I’ll just carefully wrap her in this blanket, take her into Target and buy everything. No biggie, again I got this. Guys, this is where it gets comical and I wish I was joking about all of this but I’m so not and I’m literally crying laughing as I write it. Well, the minute I walked into Target, I made it about a foot past the dollar spot and no joke, poop, like so much poop – like a newborn shouldn’t be able to poop that much, E-V-E-R-Y-WHERE AGAIN. Like, her diaper was already full, it was already everywhere on her clothes and now it’s on my freaking arm, it’s covered on the blanket I tried to hide it with in the first place and IT’S ON THE FLOOR. Oh my gosh, it’s on the floor.
At this point, she is screaming, her tiny newborn cry – which might I add feels like the LOUDEST cry ever when you’re a new Mom. (Though you will quickly learn in the next couple of years that, that cry ain’t loud at alllll). I’m literally trying to wipe poop up off the floor with her blanket before people see, I do my best, I bolt to the back of the store, grab diapers, wipes, clothes (boys clothes might I add because #inahurry), check out and rush to the car. That was it – my errands were done for the day, we didn’t need anything else, I canceled my doctor’s appointment, literally done. My car smelled like poop for a solid month after and I will never, ever, forget that story.
However, there’s a moral to the story, HA! I fell in love with a product that I tell allll my expecting Mamas about and swear by. Triple Paste ointment for diaper rash, we still use it. She had such a bad rash from that whole experience and this ointment did WONDERS for it, so when they asked me to team up, I basically screamed yes, mainly at the excitement to you know tell you all that story because my luck. Plus – we ALLLLL have poop stories, you can’t even say you don’t. Not to mention, before I had a kid I would have NEVER talked about poop like I am now. I mean freaking two weeks ago at the doctor’s office, Blake rolled out of the bathroom and YELLED “MOM I DID A BIGGGGG POOP!”, I smiled, high fived her and everyone in the room laughed. #MomLife – Most people get it. But long story short, I stand behind Triple Paste big time (#triplepaste), we still use it – I can’t recommend it enough and there you have it, real life Motherhood for you – in the most disastrous story ever. Sorry Target. You now know the poop on the floor was from me….#guilty.