Some days are harder than others in this journey, that’s for sure. Infertility feels lonely, though I have this huge support system around me and my husband right by my side I feel totally alone most days. I shrug it off with some laughs, a little dancing inside but the reality is-IT SUCKS. Yesterday when we filmed this update, it was a good day. Things were fine, I was being positive–but today (and maybe it’s all the hormones), I’m negative Nancy and well–it’s not the best day. That’s generally how my months play out. They’re usually long, literally the longest days of my life just waiting for the day to test again. But then I feel selfish, I feel like I’m rushing and I don’t want to rush my days because I have the sweetest little girl and she deserves for these days to be slow, for us to be spending as much time as possible together. You know–soaking it all in because no matter how it comes about, one day she will have a brother or a sister and that one on one time we have now will be gone.
So that’s what I needed, to just write it out, let it out and remind myself to keep pushing forward and to just enjoy the now, no matter how hard some days might be. If anything, just for my Blake girl because she deserves the best, she deserves my true happiness.
See a full update and all the little details in the video below: