“Don’t touch that please…”
“Don’t touch that!”
“You have to eat food, real food, not just ice cream.”
“Please sleep, seriously.”
“GET OUT OF THE DOG FOOD!”
“Please don’t do that!”
I feel like my days are filled with these constant sayings. You know, where you start out nice…then get frustrated, then by the 10th time the dog bowl has been spilled it’s flat out “NO!!!!!!!”. It’s hard y’all.
I often wonder if I’ll ever figure it out, if I’ll ever learn how to balance everything. I wonder if she’s just going to remember me constantly disciplining her, constantly getting frustrated and often on the verge of tears. I feel like that’s all our days ever are anymore. She’s busy, she’s so busy. She doesn’t stop. If she’s not climbing on the coffee table, she’s dumping the dog bowls. If she’s not dumping the dog bowls, she’s finding the one little thread in our living room chair and ripping a hole in it. It’s a constant battle all day long.
She’s learning though, she’s discovering and she should be. That’s the problem. She doesn’t know better, she’s still figuring things out–but it’s a lot amongst the toys everywhere, the dishes piled to the ceiling and the six laundry baskets filled with clean clothes that need to be folded.
I just hope one day she knows that I tried. I tried so hard to be a good Mom, to do fun things, to let her just have fun and ignore the mess. I did my best, I’m doing my best. It’s a constant learning game, all day, everyday.
I just want her to remember the fun times. Obviously the lessons learned, but happy memories–ya know? I want her to remember the little moments we had. How she just started belly laughing while I was rocking her for hours to try and get her to just sleep, but it helped me relax. That laughter brought the biggest smile to my face, I couldn’t help but just laugh back with you. It’s like they know when we need an intervention, a Mom intervention. You know, that moment when you’re in the holy cow I’m going to go insane phase. Somehow they do something that pulls us right back in and grounds us.
Those are the things I hope she remembers. Those moments are the things that I need to remember, on the daily. When I’m feeling so overwhelmed and ready to break, that she’s perfect–she’s discovering and everything’s going to be okay.
Here’s to Motherhood! The patience I’m learning and the ability to conquer anything! Let’s rock this thing.