The other day, after a long day, a whole lot of tears and well, you know–that kind of day. I was beating myself up, picking myself apart in every single way. I was too fat, not good enough, never going to get where I wanted to, comparing myself to others, didn’t have the house I wanted, didn’t like my hair, you name it and I was probably talking trash about it and myself. I sat there throwing a pity party for myself, totally down in the dumps and watched my sweet baby girl playing with all of her toys.
Was I ever going to be good enough for her? Right now, I can’t give her EVERYTHING, I want to give her everything. I want to be able to do everything for her, balance it all and teach her how strong I am.
BUT, I’m failing.
That’s all I could tell myself, over and over again. I was failing in my business, my job as a Mother, as a wife, on my body, in every aspect of my life and the jobs and responsibilities I have, even in just my wants–I was “failing”. Quite honestly, I’ve been in this funk for what feels like months. It’s like a rollercoaster–I have good days, things go great, then one thing goes wrong and I feel like my world is crumbling down on top of me. You know what I’m saying, sometimes it’s just a lot? Then that “lot” makes everything worse and only causes more picking apart and overanalyzing of everything in your life. It’s a pattern and a frequent one at that.
Then…it hit me.
Like a pile of bricks, holy cow! How did I not realize this before? I mean seriously, what’s wrong with me?!
That little girl over there playing sweetly with her blocks, she sees me. She sees me pick myself apart, she sees me look in the mirror and pinch my fat, she sees me in tears when something isn’t going right, she sees me tell her Daddy that I am never going to be good enough, that this dress doesn’t fit right on my body, she sees me stress myself out over my work, she sees everything.
OUR BABIES SEE THE WAY WE THINK ABOUT OURSELVES.
The way we look at ourselves, pick ourselves apart, tear ourselves down and beat ourselves up over every little thing. They’re watching intently, learning from our every move and trying to figure all the little things out. When we sit there and tell ourselves we’re a failure–they’re picking up on it. When I feel like just giving up and throwing all my hard work away–my sweet baby girl watches me as I contemplate it all, every single move. We’re their biggest fan, their number one supporter and they look up to us like no one else. Can you expect any less? If we can teach them how to wave, say “please” and “thank you” and get excited for big moments like walking, don’t you think they are learning the negative things too?
And here’s the other thing, we are SO hard on ourselves, SO HARD, but are we really failing? Truly, are we? Probably not.
Why aren’t we clapping for ourselves every time we have a tiny victory, rather than brushing it off and then slamming ourselves down when something goes wrong? It’s like we skip right over the entire process of celebrating the little victories. Or maybe we do celebrate them, but then forget all about them 20 minutes later when something we worked so hard on goes wrong. I mean, do our babies forget that every time they stand up they get a round of applause? NOPE. Trust me–my sweet girl will stand up 10 times in a row and every time with a huge smile on her face and clapping hands.
That’s what we should be doing. That’s the example we should be showing our babies.
Let’s teach them confidence, to never give up and that this idea of “perfect” that the media portrays isn’t perfect. We are perfect, we are all perfect the way we are–no jean size, hair color, house decor or homemade dinner is going to change that. Those things won’t define us. We should celebrate the tiny victories, the big victories and the HUGE victories all the same–cheer ourselves on and pick ourselves up when the days get rough.
The reality is–we WILL have bad days, no doubt about that, but it’s the way we handle them that can make or break us. It’s the circumstances and how we let it affect us and our self confidence. We can be sad for a second and brush things off or we can wallow in pity (which is what I’ve been doing)…but which one is going to teach that little babe in front of us to have the confidence and strength we so badly desire for them? Which one is going to raise that little human up to be great, confident and kind?
So let’s remember that, let’s remember that our babies see the exact way we think of ourselves, how we treat ourselves (and others for that fact) and all the “picking apart” we do to our body and mind. We don’t want them to pick up those bad habits–I mean maybe you do? Probably not. 😉 I sure as heck don’t want my sweet girl to. So let’s be confident, let’s celebrate, push through the hard things and clap for ourselves every, single, time we have little victories because we deserve it and that’s exactly the person we want our babies to be. We want them to be strong, kind, loving, confident, successful human beings.