Mother’s Day is this weekend guys, like in two days. I can’t believe it. I remember last Mother’s Day, I counted it as my first, I still do, but this one, this is the real deal, it feels so much more real and special. I HAVE a baby out of my belly and it’s the most amazing gift I have ever been given. So naturally a sappy post is coming, but especially today.
Today is Friday and as y’all know every Friday we do “Favorite Shop Friday”. Well today’s has a little bit of a different spin on it and it only felt totally fitting to write because it is Mother’s Day weekend. So we’ve teamed up with Bamboobies today and I’m going to share a little look into my breastfeeding journey.
When I first started breastfeeding I was a mess. I didn’t think I would make it 24 hours, let alone 10 months. I wanted to quit day one, Blake wouldn’t latch, my nipples hurt and she was dropping weight faster than I could figure the whole concept out. I was angry, frustrated and so sad. The nurse helping was not patient with me at all, Blake was being poked every two hours for her blood sugar and everyone kept telling me I needed to feed her more. I was trying, I wanted to scream at them–I’M DOING THE BEST I CAN! In my head all I could think about was everything that was wrong with me. Thoughts like, “This is supposed to be a natural instinct”, “So far you’re failing”…you know all the really awful thoughts you probably shouldn’t have the first day of being a Mom. Well, we eventually got discharged. I was supplementing with formula in between when I had to and I thought we were finally doing “okay” and maybe I would just get the handle of it over time. She wouldn’t stay awake long enough for me to feed her and didn’t really latch, but I was hand expressing and using a syringe which seemed to be working for us…so I thought okay I’ll give it a few more days.
Well, we went to her follow up appointment a couple of days later and WEIGHT DROP, big time, way more than she should have. Instantly those negative thoughts creeped back into my head and I was a mess. I felt like such a failure. I was ready to throw in the towel and just go buy formula. It wasn’t worth it, my baby wasn’t eating enough and I was mentally and physically drained and past my breaking point. The pediatrician suggested I meet with a lactation nurse that same day and I hesitantly, but willingly agreed. I figured it would be just like the nurse in the hospital and pointless, but I went anyways–SO full I might add (like HELLO milk!). Well, to my pleasant surprise she was the opposite of the hospital nurse. She was patient, kind and REALLY helped me understand what I needed to do and better yet..SHE GOT BLAKE LATCHED. I cried tears of happiness (especially because releasing all that milk felt so good. Haha!). I was proud, proud that I did it, proud of Blake and so happy I didn’t give up just yet.
The lactation nurse sent us home with a nipple shield, which was GAME changing. We used it pretty long, longer than we probably should have, but it worked for us and it allowed me to breastfeed baby girl. My nipples stopped cracking (thanks to Bamboobies Nipple Balm) and we found breast pads that actually kept errrrthing in (AKA: milk didn’t leak through my shirt–again thanks to Bamboobies). Then the ride got started.
The first 6 months (yes I said 6) were rough, we were using the nipple shield, I still didn’t always get the hang of it and it was messy, but then one day, it happened and with a BIG help from Lactation Link. Blake was barely 6 months old, the nipple shield fell off mid feeding and HOLY CRAP, she latched, latched right back on without the shield and she has eaten without it ever since.
And now, now we’re here.
The point of all that was for this purpose, the point we’re at now. We are almost done breastfeeding. We’re coming to our last probably month or so (maybe a little less) and now, now I’m sad. I’m so sad..we finally figured it out, we get this little precious bonding time together every time and now we have to stop!? I was breastfeeding her and rocking her to sleep last night and I couldn’t help but tear up a little. She is so cute as she rubs my neck and just looks into my eyes. I was sad. My baby is growing up and I’m about to lose this first little bond we shared together, but my milk is almost gone and she isn’t too interested anymore and it’s time to move on, but it still breaks my heart to watch her grow. She’s supposed to stay little forever, doesn’t she know that? 😉
So today we are celebrating Moms; breastfeeding or not– you’re killin’ it and we’re all doing amazing things for our babies.
I’m so excited to be teaming up with Bamboobies today, to have been able to share that story, to give a little hope and remind Moms they can do hard things and that no matter what (breast or formula) we are ALL amazing and we have the best job! Plus, I not only get to share a REALLY good promo code with you, but I also have a giveaway below.
The code: Grab 20% off your total purchase with the code, “PO20OFF16“
The Giveaway: Enter below for your chance to win a nursing cover, nipple balm and breast pads!