Photo by Angela Minnick Photography
As I sit here rocking my sweet girl to sleep in her room I’m reminiscing on the last three months. I can’t believe she’s going to be three months on Saturday. I’m giving myself somewhat of an anxiety attack thinking where has the time gone?! Three months, already? I feel like it was yesterday that I found out I was even pregnant with you. As much as I want the time to slow down, I’m loving every single second of it. Watching her grow, discover and enjoying all her cute baby noises is the best!
This week has been a rough one, not in the sense that it’s been a bad week necessarily, in fact it’s been a great week, but it’s been a VERY busy one so far. I haven’t had as much time as I would like to cuddle and spend with Blake. Everyone says not to hold them too much, but that advice can go right out the window if you ask me. I will hold her all day, everyday that I can because on weeks like this when I’m slammed with work and projects that just can’t wait, I miss those cuddles and snuggles. So this hour that I get to sneak in rocking her to sleep is absolute heaven. Staring at her little breathing, her sleep smiles and watching her cuddle up with her lovey literally almost brings me to tears because it makes me so happy. So happy to be a Mom, so happy to have her and like I’m the luckiest girl alive. Three months of pure bliss y’all with my little family and so many more to come. I feel like I’ve learned a lot these past three months about being a Mom. I’m definitely not an expert by any means, in fact I’m still learning tons, but I’m finally getting the hang of things. Things are starting to click, I feel more comfortable as a Mom and for the most part (though there are still crazy days) we’ve found our groove.
Here’s what I’ve learned; one, don’t beat yourself up. I should probably take my own advice as I write this, but seriously most days I am super hard on myself as a Mom and as a person, most of us are. We didn’t finish this, the house isn’t clean, I forgot to brush Blake’s hair (that she barely has any of), I mean heck, I literally forgot to feed her the other day. I mean really it had only been 4 hours rather than her regular 3-3.5, but you better believe I burst into tears and felt like the worst Mother on the planet. Really though? Was I a bad Mom? Am I a bad Mom? Nope I’m not, she loves me just the same and forgave me quickly after a full tummy. So the reality is, let’s stop being so hard on ourselves. We’re all doing the best that we can and well, Mom brain is real and somedays you just get overloaded and forget things, roll with it 😉 Two, you take that nap time and run with it. I’m literally laughing out loud as I write this part because it’s so true. If your little babe is anything like my “perfect” little Blake then somedays their naps last 10 minutes and others they last 2 hours. Generally we’re more on the 10 minute schedule, so on the days that she sleeps 2 hours, you better believe I’m busting out as much work as possible or maybe taking a nap for myself when I can. We deserve it. Finally, three, enjoy it all. I love this one because I’m finally getting the hang of it. In case you couldn’t tell I’m a little bit of a workaholic, I love it though, I’m seriously so passionate about work it’s almost sickening. Ha! There were days I was in tears because I knew I needed to work, but Blake needed me and I just couldn’t at that moment. I struggled with this hard the first month or so. Now though, now I’ve figured it out. The thing is, no matter how much I love work or how much I have to do, it can wait and I love Blake more. Dishes can wait, vacuuming can wait, heck errands can wait. I’m never going to get this time back and one day Blake probably won’t need me or want me as often as she does now, so I’ll stay up until midnight working and cleaning if it means that I get to snuggle instead all day long.
Now, it’s time to get back to rocking and staring at Blake because like I said I can’t hold her or stare at her enough. One day I might regret holding her often, but probably not. We’re bonding and that’s all I want, that’s the most important thing in my life, my little family.