Motherhood is absolutely amazing, challenging and rewarding. As a new Mom I had no idea what to expect and I wanted to remember it, all of it, even the not so good. So I documented my first thirty days of Motherhood in pictures, what it really looked like, not the Pinterest perfect version. In these pictures you’ll see the messy, the amazing and lots of messy hair/under eye bags; the first moment I saw our little babe, our first night home, doctors appointments, first everything, lots of naps, long nights, tears, poop, car rides in the backseat and magical moments. It’s different for everyone and something we should all cherish and support one another in.
These pictures only show a glimpse of my first thirty days of Motherhood. A little peek into events, challenges and happy moments. It doesn’t show the emotions. How proud of myself I felt when I finally calmed my sweet babe down after hours of screams. After finally figuring out what she was telling me. How clueless both my husband and I felt the first night home from the hospital, as we laid her on the bed and just looked at her with these expressions of “what now?” How I felt the first time I saw her smile in her sleep, even if it wasn’t intentional, it was at the perfect time when I needed to see it the most. It’s almost like she knew I was at my breaking point that day, that I felt lost and like I was failing at my new job: Mom. The emotion of being so tired you can’t function, but somehow you have to push through it only to stay up the next night and do it all again. There are nights I sat and still do sit in bed just crying and crying because I am so tired. Because I’ve tried everything I could think of to try and help her. Then finally when I did figure out what she wanted or the little trick that helped calm her down and the feeling I got, I felt on top of the world, absolutely unstoppable. Her first bath, our first walk in her stroller, every single little moment and milestone. I wish I could have really caught a good picture the first time she pooped all over me, all over our bed, literally everywhere and not just the aftermath. It may have been gross, but it would’ve really embraced the full effect of Motherhood. It’s not always clean 😉 Oh, but all the tears, that’s the emotion that was really hard to catch the full effect of. So many tears, for so many reasons. Both happy tears and not so happy, for every reason possible. To the point that make up isn’t even a realistic possibility anymore, even if you did have the time to do that, because it would end up all over your face anyways. Which leads to the next harsh reality of feeling helpless somedays. Worrying about every little peep that she made and feeling like I couldn’t step away for even a second. I still feel like this somedays. The moment I realized that this was going to be a learning process for all three of us, Mom, Dad and baby for the rest of our lives.
Every single day with my sweet girl has been amazing, hard and worth it. I wouldn’t change it one bit. I wouldn’t take back one tear, frustration or long night because they made all of the really good times that much better and so much more worth it. Her little smiles, sleep laughs, little noises and the way she looks at me while I hold her made every single hard time worth it. The way she looks at me alone is the best feeling in the world. I’ve never been more in love or felt more like a superhero than I do right now. I’ll cherish everyday I have with her, with my new little family, the good and the bad because being a Mom is the best gift I could have ever been given.
Motherhood is different for each and every one of us, we should love it, enjoy it and not beat ourselves up over the hard parts. We should be supporting each other and sharing our journeys, even the hard parts.