This post was sponsored by Lansinoh.
The other day we were checking out at the store and Blake was being her normal two year old self, AKA: throwing a tantrum, letting my know that she NEEDED the 15 lollipops by the checkout stand. And guys, these weren’t just your normal lollipops, these were the ones that are literally as big as your head and she had a handful of about 6 of them. As I explained to her that we weren’t going to get those today, but she could pick out pretzels or a small item, she melted down on the floor. I ignored her, because well…that’s what (doesn’t) work for us (but I don’t know what else to do ;)) and waited for her to you know, semi collect herself. She eventually pulled it together and I picked her up and said, if you’re going to be nice now we can get these pretzels, to which she agreed and I plopped her up on the counter with them while I finished checking out. As I was loading the bags back into the cart, she played with the pen on the card reader and honestly, I didn’t care. She wasn’t touching buttons, she was just holding the pen and pretending to write on her pretzel bag. As I continued loading bags in and trying to find my card, I felt like the cashier was just starring at me, glaring at my two year old for playing with the pen…I ignored it because there’s just really no point. Then went to slide my card when the comment came – “Maybe if you didn’t just buy her things or let her do that, she wouldn’t act like that. She could sit in the cart too.” My jaw literally about hit the floor. In that moment, Mama bear wanted to come out, I wanted to scream at her and say, listen…do you know what kind of day I have had? Did you see me wrestle with her for 15 minutes when we walked in because she didn’t want to sit in the cart, she wanted to walk by Mama? This is good for her, she’s two, she’s sitting here nicely, her tantrum only lasted about 20 seconds rather than the typical 20 minutes and honestly, I was feeling pretty dang proud of myself. Instead, I stood there, I felt the tears welling up in my eyes and I grabbed my sweet girl and told her, “I’m sorry that she wasn’t very patient with you” and I walked out the door.
I think as Moms this kind of “stigma” if you will comes with the title, where us and people feel like we have to give and get judgement from every angle of our lives. Whether it’s about the way we feed our babies, dress them, dress ourselves, discipline, whatever — I know I personally at least feel like I have judgement breathing down my back about whatever way I am doing anything. It always seems to feel like I am doing it the “wrong way”. When in fact, quite honestly, I am doing the very best I can, I’m trying my best and working on enjoying every moment with my little girl, even if they are rough, temper tantrum moments.
Then it hit me. How many times have I had a thought of judgement in my head? More than I can count and I was over here getting really upset about other people judging me. Would I actually say something? No. Would I say something to my husband? Probably, in fact I have. DING DING DING. There’s the problem, right there. I don’t want someone to judge me, I want people to be kind, I want people to love me, so I have to practice what I preach.
So here’s the thing. Why can’t we just be nice? Because I think we are all doing the best we absolutely can. I think we’re all giving it our all and trying to hold it together in the toughest of moments. Do you think we want our kids to throw a fit in the grocery store aisle? Nope. Trust me, it’s the last thing I want. In fact I mentally prepare myself in the car before I go into the store. I’ve got to give myself a pep talk, remind myself that — hey we got this and if you have to give her 10 cookies while you’re in there, it’s fine. You’re not a bad Mom because of it.
So let’s make a change.
To the Mom with their toddler hitting them in public because they didn’t get what they wanted, then laughing about it because well — hitting is funny right? I see you. You’re doing a good job, you’re killin’ it in the Motherhood department and I get it. I know you’re going to go home tonight and feel terrible, be discourage, honestly probably cry because well…your kid doesn’t hit anyone else, just you. BUT, secret, it’s because they love you the most. So next time you witness this happening, smile, give a nod, maybe even the reminder of, “You’ve got this. You’re doing great.”
To the Mom breastfeeding in public, GOOD FOR YOU. You do what you have to do, you do what you’re comfortable with you. Next time I see you, I’ll give you a high five, the “nod” if you will, a big smile because well…I’ve been there, with the tired, hungry, baby or maybe it’s just feeding time and well..you have a life, you can’t stay inside all day and breastfeeding is your food source for your babe and you’re doing a good friggin’ job at it.
Which goes with this, to the Mom pumping or formula feeding. Let’s give them a round of applause because they’re killin’ it too. Have you ever had chapped nipples? Guys, it’s no joke.
To the working Mom, to the stay at home Mom, both of your jobs are equally as hard in their own ways and you’re doing a good job, even if you have to remind yourself every few minutes. It’s okay to hide in the closet mid day and cry, it’s okay to ask for a picture of your babe in the middle of your work day because you miss seeing their face. Neither is better than the other and there shouldn’t be any judgement on whether or not you should do one or the other.
To the Mom who gets the questions, “Are all of these yours?”, “Are you going to have more kids?” — take it with a grain of salt and everyone else, let’s remember that while it might be a harmless question, it can be pretty harmful to the Mama bears inside of all of us.
To the single Mom, the married Mom, you are one in the same, maybe facing different trials in your life. BUT you want the best for you babies and you’re both strong in your own ways and you’re doing a really good job. I see you, I know you’re struggling, maybe this month you’re wondering how in the world you’re going to have enough money for groceries or how you’re going to juggle it all, but I promise you, you can do it. I know it’s hard, I know most days you feel like you’re drowning, but put everything you have into your babe(s) and it’ll be fine.
To everyone, to the Moms, the Dads, the Grandparents, the random cashiers, the people standing by, let’s stop judging. Ask yourself this question, would you want someone to judge the way you’re doing things all day? Nope, in fact, you’ve probably been judged, heard unkind comments, you’ve been there, so let’s not forget how that felt and let’s be kind to others. So next time you see a Mom struggling with their babe, help them, smile at them, remind them they’re doing a dang good job and you know what, just be kind. When you see a Mom bottle feeding or breastfeeding their babe, smile at them. You don’t even realize how far that smile can go. A simple smile can give that Mom the confidence she needs to get through the hardest morning she has had in her life, it can remind her that though she might feel like she’s failing, she’s not, she’s got this.
Let’s be nice. Let’s change things. If you think you have nothing to change, well…I hate to break it to you, but you probably do. Let’s be kind, be loving and don’t worry about what other people are doing. Remember that behind every single Mom is a Mom doing her best, loving her babies and trying her hardest to find the ultimate happiness in her sweet little family–just like you are.
This post was sponsored by Lansinoh.
Favorite Lansinoh Products:
This post contains affiliate links.